Imagine this: New York City is one Red Alert. The bombs have dropped and NYC has just broken out into a civil war. The bridges have been cut off and so have the outside resources. The tunnels under ground have become war zones. The boroughs are at war, who will be the last one standing?

Queen’s, known as the home of the Met’s and some cheap ass dumplings. Unfortunately for them, the number of different languages spoken there makes it very hard to establish communication with one another. If there going to survive an apocalypse together, it won’t be because of teamwork.

Brooklyn, home of hipsters and expensive coffee shops. What community is there in a land full of people who have already proven, they’re willing to run away from home? With no loyalty from the transplants and no loyalty from the people who’s rent’s been raising because of the transplants. Brooklyn gets abandoned. All those empty Air BNB’s. For the first time in years, there will be an  influx of people moving out of the borough. Those of you hiding in your brownstones, holding on for dear life, can finally come out again. All it took was a nuclear apocalypse for you to get your neighborhood back.

Manhattan:home of $1,300, 150 sq ft apartments, the Empire State Building, and wealth! But once the bomb sirens go off it’s GRIDLOCK. Taxi drivers will enact their long awaited revenge against Uber drivers, secretaries will start pushing their bosses out of windows and all the nannies, who actually live in the outer boroughs, will hold the babies of Manhattanites hostage until they surrender.  A whole city supported by a workforce of travelers and inhibited by the privileged and spoiled will crumble.

Staten Island: the epicenter of NY’s Trump supporters and THE LAST of the mobster regime. In truth, we almost considered leaving them out of this war because obviously Staten Island is basically an extension of Bayonne New Jersey. But theBLOX is not fake news. Staten Island’s isolation would finally cause its downfall. The first drop of blood would spill in front of the Just Halal in the Staten Island Mall’s food court, leading to the all-city fallout. Those able to escape by Ferry, would gonna up in the over flooded Battery Park City section of Manhattan.

And lastly and most importantly, The Bronx, the brokest, realest and most diverse of them all. We got the Yankees, cuchifritos, theBLOX TV,  and the biggest park. For forty years, a shadow has been hovering over our borough. So even with the smoke clouds from the bombs, it’ll still look pretty sunny here. We’ll have no problem surviving this apocalypse. Garbage trains repurposed into dirty limousines. Liquor stores on very block repurposed into booby traps. Every high rise project building with snipers gathered at the top. Bodegas filled with GMO foods that never expire. Graffiti hieroglyphics that no one can decode, prisons and  precincts with plenty of cell intruders, and, It doesn’t hurt being the borough connected to the mainland.

We know that the Bronx is the safest place to be at.
So grab your bags and WELCOME TO THE BRONX!

Looking for ways to wealth up after the apocalypse? Check this out.