This year, North Korea has already fired 18 missiles tests, and responses from Trump have been filled with threats and aggression. So, ya know what that means? We’re fucked! It’s time to grab your water canteens, ponchos, and hatchets before impending nuclear war turns life, as we know it, into a Book Of EliMad Max sequel

So how does one go about creating a nuclear survival kit? What are the priorities? Does one only pack survival tools or pack a batch of items that bring joy while on the dusted roads? What’s more important: having a large bag of necessities or traveling light? We’re not sure, so we created a list of 20 possible items and asked New Yorkers to choose the five they NEEDED to have with them.

Our list:

  • Condoms
    • Cause who wants to bring more children into this world.
  • Game of Thrones (Book series)
    • Cause when else are you going to have the time to read it?
  • Solar panel underwear
    •  Cause you need energy in all the right places.
  • Fidget spinners  
    • Just cause.
  • Noise canceling headphones 
    • Cause you’ll need something to help ignore your family in that closed off bunker.
  • Reusable toilet paper
    • Cause when the world goes to shit…
  • Nail Clipper 
    • Cause society is over, but you’re not an animal.
  • Porn Playing Cards
    • Cause sometimes you need to play while you play.
  • Permanent Markers.
    • Cause ya know.. They smell nice.
  • Spam
    • Cause what other foods will survive the apocalypse.
  • Astronaut/Space Food
    • Cause astronauts know how to survive.
  • ToothBrush + Toothpaste Kit –
    • Cause ya breath stinks.
  • Machete
    • Cause it’s the quintessential Apocalypse item.
  • Water Purifier
    • Cause clear water is the quintessential life item.
  • Rope 
    • Cause whether, for fun or hobby, you’ll need to tie something up.
  • Needle & Thread
    • Cause clothes, and skin.
  • Coffee
    • Cause even at the end of the world; you need Bustelo.
  • Butane Stove
    • Cause hot food bro!
  • Flares
    • Cause if there is any chance of being found, this is it.
  • Band-Aids
    • Cause I’m stuck on Band-aids and Band-aids stuck on me.

What’s in your kit?