One of the hardest parts of being in a relationship is figuring out how to end it—cause let’s be real, not all relationships are meant to last. If that were the case, I’d be married already {SPOILER} I’m single as fuck.

New Yorkers—we have no chill, but at the same time embody all that is cool—Jay-Z said it best “like Che Guevara with bling on” we’re complex. In cities densely populated like our beloved NYC, it’s hard to do anything in private, I mean, people groom themselves and eat seven-course meals while riding the subway, why should your relationship be any different. If you can make out on a park bench, you can break up in public.

So you’re ready to end it. Where do you break it off? Now, I don’t condone public dumping per say, but if I did, this is how (and where) I would do it.

 

Johnnys Reef Restaurant
Johnny’s Reef

Johnny’s Reef

2 City Island Ave, Bronx, NY
It’s busy, like very very busy; you might be thinking this is not a public dumping attribute—it is, no one wants to cause a scene. No fuss, no muss. Plus, who can get mad while drinking cold beer and frozen daiquiris from a plastic cup, all while eating a basket full of fresh fried seafood, topped off with views of the Long Island Sound and the Throggs Neck Bridge? Nobody! It’s fucking perfect. Good for a first date, great for a last date. Only hiccup here is the lack of public transportation, either come separately or think ahead and get yourself an Uber at least 10 minutes before breaking it off, you don’t want to linger after this one.

 

@jakessteakhousebronx

Jake’s Steakhouse

6031 Broadway, Bronx, NY

This is a special one, it’s not super public and it’s sure as hell not cheap—but this is a good way to end a more significant relationship, a last hoorah if you will. Linen tablecloths and delicious steakhouse fare (try the Bacon Salad, yum!). Enjoy one final night together and reminisce about the good ol’days. Ask for the check, pay the bill (you owe your non-significant other that much) and run, don’t walk, out the door.

 

 

 

Lion-Roar-Bronx-Zoo
@Bronxzoo

Dancing Crane Cafeteria at The Bronx Zoo

2300 Southern Blvd, Bronx, NY 

I love everything about this breakup scenario; it’s riddled with delicious irony. Spend the day (okay, like an hour) walking around the beautiful zoo grounds. Take in views of the exotic animals held in captivity, all the while relishing in the fact that in a matter of hours, you’ll be free. Top of the day with a trip to the cafeteria—the magnificent symphony of children crying and throwing tantrums will mask the fit occurring opposite you. This is a breakup fit for the drama queen/king in your life…you know who you are.

 

 

 

Pancakes with syrup
@Royalcoachdiner

Royal Coach Diner

3260 Boston Rd, Bronx, NY

A diner? Yes, a diner. Open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, Royal Coach has a booth waiting for you anytime the mood strikes. Food is way better than your average diner, like way, way better, so it’s not an insult to bring someone here, at all, regardless of your current relationship status. Plus, breakfast for dinner can ease even the heaviest of hearts. Give me a short stack STAT. 

 

 

 

Iced Mocha Latter
@monamourcoffeewine

Mon Amour Coffee & Wine

234 W 238th St, Bronx, NY 

The morning after a breakup. The ultimate fucked up way to break up with someone. You wake up full of regret and just can’t go another day being tied down, so you walk together to your local coffee shop. This one is all about the execution; it must be done at a classy joint to take away a bit of the sleaze you’re about to sling at your not-so-loved one. Mon Amour is perfect—it’s all about the ambiance; brick walls, Parisian flare, AMAZING pastries and great coffee. Though, I’d direct your other half towards one of their delicious iced beverages; it’ll hurt less. You also might want to change your number.

 

 

In an age when most relationships play out via social media, it’s come to a point where public breakups are almost expected. So, there you have it, five very different locations for all your dumping needs. I didn’t do it, but if I did, these are by far my favorite places to break up with someone in the comfort of the public eye.

 

Have you ever dumped someone in public, or been dumped? Tell us where!