Instagram officially launched on October 6, 2010, as an iPhone app. Within one month, it gained 1 million users – just to reference – It took Foursquare and Twitter 2 years to reach that milestone. Despite originally appearing only on the iPhone, the Instagram app is divided 50/50 between Apple and Android users. And we’re all obsessed with it. Let’s face it.
This mega social media platform was purchased by Facebook for $1B (that’s that one with nine zeros) and has never looked back. The popular platform has been eyeing SnapChat’s market share for a while, as is evident in the frequent updates to its stories, share options and even live broadcasting. The writing’s on the wall, and the wall is filled with images and one-minute videos. Instagram occupies the space that websites and business cards used to; giving people from all walks of life a pre-introduction to an individual, company, organization or brand, by allowing a sneak peek into their aesthetic, capabilities, and maybe even their soul. First impressions are crucial, and nowadays they’re made before you even get in the room.
I spend about 1-1.5 hours a day on the gram, posting here and there, liking friend’s images and videos, tagging people on some inside jokes or stuff I think they’ll appreciate, and looking for cool shit. When you do that for a while, say a few years – you develop your flavor, and that comes with a sense of style, and critical voice. There’ a lot of garbage out there, and sometimes people are ridiculous in their posting habits, so you unfollow the worst of them and ignore others. But then there are those accounts that are like scratching a scab when you shouldn’t; like trying not to laugh when someone falls on their head; like being disgusted by a pimple being popped but not being able to look away.
The list below includes my favorite IG accounts to hate, in a particular order:
The “I am richer than god, but I have no real sense of aesthetic and I am too cheap to pay a community manager or a graphic designer to help me, but hey, I have tons of money.”
The “I am so ratchet, and I appeal to the lowest common denominator possible in the makeup of a human form, and since some people seem to like my degrading, offensive, ghetto ass garbage posts, I will make sure to go even lower in the name of getting likes.”
The “I found my niche, it’s all about daily video with sort of comedic situations where I repeat the same notions but only a little different each time, but since I already established millions of viewers, I get 500,000 minimum likes for everything I do which is mostly me overreacting to every made up situation.”
The “I am so blessed to be alive, and in these times, everything I touch turns to gold, fuck that, turns to platinum, and my life is so great, you should watch me, love me, adore me, support me, repeat.”
The “I know better than everyone how to do things, and how to live, be a man, a person, and y’all need to listen to me but be free spirited at the same time and conquer life but not before you pay $6000 to my seminar or buy my stupid wine.”
The “I just started working out last Monday, and now I am the world’s biggest expert in all things fitness, nutrition, and motivation and I don’t take days off from the gym, I don’t need sleep, check how I do squats, meal portion and call you out for being lazy.”
Two honorable mentions to this article are Lena Dunham – because I just don’t like her! And, Michael Rapaport who regularly rants about everything to the point I am worried about him not having anything positive in life. #needhelpbutkindahilarious